Feeling Overwhelmed? DBT Skills Can Help You Manage Anxiety

Anxiety is sneaky. One moment, you're fine, and the next, anxiety creeps in. Maybe it’s an email from your boss that makes you feel nervous. An unexpected call from your partner that makes you replay the worst five minutes of the conversation. Anxiety can pull you in and make you think, “I shouldn’t have said that.” Or “I should have done that…”

This is where Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can really help. DBT can help with anxiety. DBT is an evidence-based therapy that has four core skills: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness to help manage difficult emotions and learn skills to live a better life.

Anxiety can produce racing thoughts. When the brain cannot turn off and to shift from one thought to another or fixates on the same thoughts again and again, it can feel exhausting. This type of mental overdrive can heighten anxiety and create a sense of being stuck.

But the skill of mindfulness brings back attention to the here and now. It helps the brain redirect its attention from the state of arousal in the body, registered as anxiety, to something else. I think of the skill of mindfulness, as used in DBT, like Legos for the brain. Our brain love new experiences, so it is more likely to focus on a new sensation or experience rather than the same old thought. Derived from the contemplative teachings of Buddhism, mindfulness that is used in DBT helps bring the attention back to the present moment. DBT uses breath, sensation, and feeling to do so.

Likewise, the brain naturally seeks relief from discomfort, and in states of hyper-arousal, like anxiety, it craves self-soothing behaviors to restore a sense of calm. Distress tolerance skills in DBT are designed to help people manage intense emotions so that they can avoid impulsive action or help them get through the emotional wave and return to a more balanced state.

I believe that it’s easier to stay in a state of balance than to diffuse intense emotion. But it is not so simple to do that. This is where therapy comes in. I teach skills in therapy sessions, particularly emotional regulation. I believe emotional regulation is a key life skill because it helps identify and recognize emotions, as well as understand and manage them in a healthy and productive way. For instance, cognitive reframing, which involves changing negative thought patterns into more balanced, realistic ones, helps the brain reduce distress and regain a sense of control. When combined with deep breathing, it can help calm the brain and activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which reduces stress and promotes a sense of relaxation and clarity.

At the end of the day, anxiety is part of life. But when we know what to do when it shows up, we can navigate those moments with more ease. And that is what DBT helps with. It gives you tools to ride out the discomfort, regulate your emotions, and set boundaries that support your well-being.

Imagine how differently you would handle negative self-talk or emotional conversations with your partner. Could you be happier with yourself or build a stronger relationship with your spouse? Let’s talk about how my therapy services and DBT can support you and your life.